Friday, June 26, 2015

Sharing my thoughts.

Ytd my boss told us that one day another team manager feedback to my vp regarding her subordinate being not of any help, low performance and seeking for my vp advice. My vp told her calmly that her philosophy was for those underperformed shall be sacked  Upon hearing this, my colleague reacted : "by doing this isn't she badmouthing her subordinate and it's like a direct complain to big boss?"

Having the same sentiment I kept quiet,  cos my boss was there as well. Can't help but to think she might have "feedback"  abt me to my vp as well.  She seem to read my thought and quickly declared "I did not mention abt you at all",  giving the benefit of doubt I tried to hide my uneasiness.

I not really new nor experienced  to the biz,  it's a awkward stage for me. Been in e company for 1 yr,  my job is of cos to assist my manager and lift her work load.  But her level of work is on managerial level and to a newbie I am clueless of what I'm doing.  Sometimes Im just following her instructions.  I feel the stressness and nightmares seem inevitable every night.

Back to my another team manager. Her subordinate was new and still on probation.  As a leader of e team, I was expecting she could have the patience to guide then letting him To grow.  As I know, she is a nice colleague but manager wise I'm unsure as I was never under her.

I m having this thought abt my vp's philosophy.  Underperformed = sack.
When she was on her baby steps in her career did her boss imprinted this philosophy on her?  Or it was after she's  at her current high position? Fresh grad like me are still unclear or what we are aiming for,  and are always envying other who does(like my elder bro) .

My current job is inrevelavent to what I have studied.  My boss was good enough to give me the opportunity to learn and I appreciate it.  But I often wake up in horror that I'm not of any help and dread for work.  It's v.  Demoralising.

We need a platform to seed and grow into a sturdy tree. Understand not all company are willing to be that gracious,  as it's a place for revenue purpose not a learning ground. But where can we look for this place to gain experience then ?

Often u see in job posting that qualifications and experience are. What's amusing is that no company willing to let us build the experience. And how on earth are we gg to obtain that damn experience?

Frustration kicks in and your future lies uncertainty. It's call the stage of exploring.

Friday, May 23, 2014



It has been quite a while. I disappeared merely because I forgot about this cyber source of my life. HAHA. 

Everything just passed by one by one so quickly that I do not have time to jot them down. 

Big updates, I have resigned from my previous job as it was to taxing and there were really no place to grow. I want to get out of there before I get too used to the environment and people till I don't even think of getting out of my comfort zone. So I decided to take up the challenge and tender my white envelop to my superior. 

Time passes so quickly after I tender. I was so touched by many colleagues. Cos they offered to treat me farewell meals. They were from all different department or even company. In the short 9 mths, I couldnt believe that I have made so many friends in the company. haha. Trying to praise myself. I joked ard by saying: " Actually If i dont study finance, I can be a successful PR now." hahaha. 

I were like busy eating 2 week before my last day. HAHA. All these ppl are nice and awesome. But Some, I totally wont miss them at all. haha! In fact i felt like a relive to be out of the company! hahahaha

Now its my new job searching period. 

So I got to gambatte!! Thou i was quite demoralize, cos i went for 2 interviews but till today.. There was no single response from any of them. Hais. Hope I will get selected by at least one! *Pray hard* 

Ok.. Time to slp! 


Saturday, March 29, 2014

Photos time with darling boy.

Some quality time spent together. Although he will keep scroll his phone/laptop and ignore me. worst.. he got his cookie monster. ignore me x100000 times. hahahaha. but i always beat his high score~ 

lalalallaal. hahahaha

force him to take some pictures with me so i can change my desktop display pic. haha. 

love him to bits even thou he always bully me by tickling me. HUMPH! 

heres some picture of us~ haha