Sharing my thoughts.

Ytd my boss told us that one day another team manager feedback to my vp regarding her subordinate being not of any help, low performance and seeking for my vp advice. My vp told her calmly that her philosophy was for those underperformed shall be sacked  Upon hearing this, my colleague reacted : "by doing this isn't she badmouthing her subordinate and it's like a direct complain to big boss?"

Having the same sentiment I kept quiet,  cos my boss was there as well. Can't help but to think she might have "feedback"  abt me to my vp as well.  She seem to read my thought and quickly declared "I did not mention abt you at all",  giving the benefit of doubt I tried to hide my uneasiness.

I not really new nor experienced  to the biz,  it's a awkward stage for me. Been in e company for 1 yr,  my job is of cos to assist my manager and lift her work load.  But her level of work is on managerial level and to a newbie I am clueless of what I'm doing.  Sometimes Im just following her instructions.  I feel the stressness and nightmares seem inevitable every night.

Back to my another team manager. Her subordinate was new and still on probation.  As a leader of e team, I was expecting she could have the patience to guide then letting him To grow.  As I know, she is a nice colleague but manager wise I'm unsure as I was never under her.

I m having this thought abt my vp's philosophy.  Underperformed = sack.
When she was on her baby steps in her career did her boss imprinted this philosophy on her?  Or it was after she's  at her current high position? Fresh grad like me are still unclear or what we are aiming for,  and are always envying other who does(like my elder bro) .

My current job is inrevelavent to what I have studied.  My boss was good enough to give me the opportunity to learn and I appreciate it.  But I often wake up in horror that I'm not of any help and dread for work.  It's v.  Demoralising.

We need a platform to seed and grow into a sturdy tree. Understand not all company are willing to be that gracious,  as it's a place for revenue purpose not a learning ground. But where can we look for this place to gain experience then ?

Often u see in job posting that qualifications and experience are. What's amusing is that no company willing to let us build the experience. And how on earth are we gg to obtain that damn experience?

Frustration kicks in and your future lies uncertainty. It's call the stage of exploring.

Updates

Hello, 

It has been quite a while. I disappeared merely because I forgot about this cyber source of my life. HAHA. 

Everything just passed by one by one so quickly that I do not have time to jot them down. 

Big updates, I have resigned from my previous job as it was to taxing and there were really no place to grow. I want to get out of there before I get too used to the environment and people till I don't even think of getting out of my comfort zone. So I decided to take up the challenge and tender my white envelop to my superior. 

Time passes so quickly after I tender. I was so touched by many colleagues. Cos they offered to treat me farewell meals. They were from all different department or even company. In the short 9 mths, I couldnt believe that I have made so many friends in the company. haha. Trying to praise myself. I joked ard by saying: " Actually If i dont study finance, I can be a successful PR now." hahaha. 

I were like busy eating 2 week before my last day. HAHA. All these ppl are nice and awesome. But Some, I totally wont miss them at all. haha! In fact i felt like a relive to be out of the company! hahahaha

Now its my new job searching period. 

So I got to gambatte!! Thou i was quite demoralize, cos i went for 2 interviews but till today.. There was no single response from any of them. Hais. Hope I will get selected by at least one! *Pray hard* 

Ok.. Time to slp! 

Goodnight. 

Photos time with darling boy.

Some quality time spent together. Although he will keep scroll his phone/laptop and ignore me. Sob..now worst.. he got his cookie monster. ignore me x100000 times. hahahaha. but i always beat his high score~ 

lalalallaal. hahahaha

force him to take some pictures with me so i can change my desktop display pic. haha. 

love him to bits even thou he always bully me by tickling me. HUMPH! 

heres some picture of us~ haha

Wedding

Applied leave and went Klang wit my parents to attend my cousin wedding.it have been a while I visit them.

I wanted to drive but my dad was freaking out just by hearing that I want to.drive. So I spared him. Haha

Long journey there cos we went the wrong route. I helped out abit and watch how they prank the groom. Its my.first tym attending cousin wedding! Haha.

       Dad and i got bored. And we walked      

                ard to take photos.

Mama n me! 

I realised i dont havE the bride photOs! Itd with her! But heresmy two big cousins.

Im very happy to see them actuslly! Bring back all

my memories! 

Bintan Spa Villa

Bintan trip with love

We planned an improdmptu short trip to bintan. We bought from groupon for this package. We were so dumb, we didn't know after buying e coupon we could actually booked from lokopoko's website. We went down to the agency itself to book. Haha.

Well, the staff assisted us to settle all our bookings. We waited impatiently to our trips, how we wished we could travel immediately! Haha.

We did not change much of rupiah as we heard that our resort use mostly Sing dollar. So we changed $100 just in case the information was not accurate. From $100, we had ard $20 plus left at e very end.

Early morning we took train to bedok and took a bus to the ferry terminal (I forgot which sbs bus no). We went to the counter to collect our ferry tickets and went for breakfast.

The journey was ard 2hrs and we reached bintan with staff wearing pink polo tee waiting for us. We went for city tour, temple visit and followed by lunch.

We bought some groceries here. 

Our lunch was ayam penYat

Our room was quite spacious 

Our view from our balcony! So beautiful!!

Spoiler for mY photo! Haha

The bbq pAckage.

A 

We went for the fireflies trip! 

this trip is a must go! Besides firelies, i saw shooting stars! 

End of trip lo! . Will.go.agn! The staffs were super friendly! The boss too. 

We r planning to go agn soon! Haha. 

Monday again~

WHY!! WHY there are only two weekends! I want 5 weekends and 2 weekday!
It everyone wishes! not only mine!! So im not selfish! hahahas

Grouchy and Grumpy!

Failed plot

Baby met me during one of the weekdays cos I was super down at work. And he doesn't wan me to do OT anymore. So he insist to meet me. 

He drove, picked me up and we went amk hub for dinner. We have the urge for the MALA hotpot. So we head right to the stall when we enter e food court. 

We were choosing our ingredient wisely.. Cos we know it ain't cheap. Haha. Den the staff passed us this "device" which we have seen in quite afew restaurant. 

Baby had this idea of wantin to take his "ironman"shot. Hahahaha! He started to state at e stall n wait for his turn. So the device will ring & turn red.  

But.... When I took his picture.... 

Cos the light was blinking! When I took e shot, it went off! Hahahahaha! Bad timing! 

I told him to wait! As my phone lag, I quickly took another. But.... 

His expression look sian. Hahaha! Den e staff came n passed us the food. 

And he goes.. "*Face palm* why my gf can't take a good picture of me" 

Hahahahaha! 

He is always my happy pill! Regardless what kind of shit I suffered during work. Once I see him, I feels so happy! Hahahahaha!